I Come to the Garden Alone

I.
I am a gangling girl
Poised on the cusp of womanhood
I run along a shaded path
Beneath the giant Norway pines
Long legs flash, my cotton dress flies behind me like a flag
Bare feet beat a rythmn
Long, dark braids slap against my back
I run for the shear joy of feeling the wind on my face

Suddenly, I burst out of the dark canopy
My heart is thundering in my chest
I have come to the secret place
Below me, the water kisses the giant, blue bowl of the sky
And there he is...waiting for me
Sitting among the sand dunes and sea-grass

He sees me, smiles and lifts his hand
And I run to him
He is the best big brother, so strong and kind
I drop beside him, he ruffles my hair
Quietly, I sit beside him, hand tucked into the crook of his arm
Warm sun on my face, toes tucked into the cool sand
Perfectly content
The only sounds, the low roar of the waves and the wind in the pines

All that lovely afternoon we sit together
Watching clouds scuttle across the sky
Listening to the sea gull's sharp cries
Until at last the heavens turn crimson
And I must go
See you soon, I say
And he smiles into my eyes

II.
I'm weary from wee ones
Tugging on my clothes, tugging at my breast
Sweet, dear babies sucking all my strength
Until all I long for is sleep
My mother understands
Go run, she says
So I run
Away from the house, away from the road
Until I am all alone

I hear the sound of footsteps beside me
I sense that he is there
Will you run with me, Jesus?
Matching me footstep for footstep
He goes with me all the way

III.
I'm so crazy in love with him
I can't get enough of his face, his words, his love
I would die for you! I cry
You will, he replies
He shows me a man grinding wheat
Over and over the grain is ground
Some is coarse and dark, some is fine and light
What is it to you
I f I decide to make a fine powder of you? He asks

I am shattered
The pieces of my life lie like shards of glass around my feet
Reflecting only brokenness
In the darkness, I try to find him
Knowing him only by his fragrance
For I cannot see him or hear his voice

All that terrible long night
I cling to his garment
When ever I can find it
And when I can't
I lie down on the floor
And whisper his name

IV.
He has made a secret garden for me
It has a little iron gate
He puts in my hand the only key
No one can come here but you and me
Within the walls are pure delight
A fountain sprays and flowers bloom
Color and fragrance everywhere

Dance for me, I hear his request
Only for him, I lose my shyness
Awkwardly, my feet stumble
Wonderful, he says
Suddenly, I feel as if I am dancing before armies
Twirling, stomping, I leap and hang suspended in the air
Like a ribbon in a dancer's hand
Time stands still and I gracefully land
I want so much to please him

I sing a song of love and longing
And he delights in me
I feel cherished and loved again
I am beautiful in his eyes
Come as often as you want, he says
I will meet you here

V.
I lean over the garden gate
Looking down the road, longing for him
I wait
Then, I see him coming
My darling, I cry, my love, my fair one
I shower him with kisses
Taking his hand, I lead him into our garden

We sit beside the fountain
He always loves and comforts me
Today I feel his burdens
Let me share your sorrows, I beg
And he opens his heart to me for a dying world
And we weep together

Kissed By a Muse

I am the giver, I am the taker
I am the one they call Poetry Maker
I search the world for a thirsty soul
To let him drink from my silver bowl
And once he's tasted my magic wine
He'll always thirst for things divine

Then I will pour forth words of grace
Like kisses on a lover's face
And thoughts will form, the words will grow
Beyond what human hearts can know
And words that burn like flaming fire
Will torment him with wild desire
And tumble from his lip and pen
'Til he sits down to write again

Beware ,O human, do not think
That just because my wine you drink
And feel the words that leap and soar
That you may come within the door
Remember-you may only see
What lies beyond eternity
So, write the words that can inspire
But do not walk into the fire
The words may flow and hearts may touch
But do not dare to love too much

Sleeping in Seperate Beds

I am here and you are there
The space between us
Though not impassable
Is better left alone
Like a bridge marked "Do Not Cross"
That warns to take another way

Neither weariness of warfare
Nor waning of desire
Has dropped us
Each in our seperate place
Only the desire of Destiny
Has decreed that for tonight
I will hold you only
In my heart

The Stick

A short little stub is all that's left
Of what once was a graceful arm,
Upon whose fingers sang the birds
And squirrels escaped from harm.

You'd never know that this chewed-up thing
That lies at my feet for fun
Once held a verdant canopy
That shielded summer's sun.

I don't want to touch the slobbered-up thing
But he begs with a mournful eye,
So I pick it up and once again
Hurl it into the sky.

And I almost think I can hear the stick
Laugh with joyful glee
When I throw too hard and it doesn't come down
As it gets caught up in the tree!

The Mezuzah

A tiny temple to hold the words
That men have lived by
That men have died for
Within these golden walls
Hidden behind a perfect star
That once protected an ancient king
Evil rulers
Godly men and noble women
Stained with the tears of heaven's One
Who weeps for children scattered far
A scroll so precious
Written by human hand
But breathed of G-d

The Girl Who Used To Be

The girl who used to be
Thirsted for experiences
Dreamed of exotic, far-a-way places
Adventure
Money, a big house
A wild ride

The woman who now is
Longs for solitude
Starry nights and country roads
Peace
The tenderness of first-love
Honking geese, a lake cottage
A haven of rest.

The Memory

Footsteps
Tapping softly in the misty, autumn night
Then, I see the knife
A hand grabs, drags me into the darkness
He is wearing a ski mask, but I can see into his heart...
He is not a wolf, only a big, dumb beast
The lust in his eyes does not glitter with hate, I think

The knife cuts
My bra straps fall like white satin ribbons in the moonlight
Behind the lilacs he forces me
To do things only meant for love
He reeks of nervous sweat and dirty genitals
His fingers are locked in my hair
The blade is cold against my throat
"I should kill you", he whispers his shame
I take his arm and babble a lie
"Just walk me to the streetlight. I'm afraid of the dark."
He escorts me like a gentleman
To the pool of light on the sidewalk
"You're crazy," he says
Then he is gone

But I am not crazy
I have just outwitted him
I feel no fear...no silent scream fills my mouth
I am numb
Sickened by my defilement
(You should be grateful you're alive)
I do have one grateful thought
I'm glad it was me and not one of my little sisters

It is the 60's...I cannot tell
But I do
I tell them again and again
Show them the place
I thinks one of the policemen smirks
I find the man's picture in the book
It is the 60's...there was no witness
He has to hurt someone first

I begin to run down the long corridor of time
Pursued by a large black dog
Who snarls, rips my garment to shreds

Now, I sew
In and out, in and out
The needle pierces
Pulling the thread of remembering
I keep sewing
Hoping to mend this thing
So I can finally wear
My shredded soul
Again

Love Comes Softly

In the moment of light
Aching with shadow
Like a rain storm out of the sea
You whisper a symphony
As we leave the garden

A delicate spray of water
Luscious as a thousand roses
Mists, rains
Watering the barren wilderness of my soul

The Mermaid's Lullaby

I love to sleep with the wind on my nose
And my tail tucked into the deep
With a wave to cradle my head at night
And rock me off to sleep

The smell of the salt and the song of a seal
And the stars in an ink-black sky
I never could sleep in a regular bed
No matter how hard I'd try

For once you've seen the liquid gold
That lies on a moonlit sea
You'll always yearn for the open air
And a bed that's wild and free

With your hair spread out on the foamy deep
And the lap of the waves on shore
Just ask any sailor you might meet
Why he keeps coming back for more

Overcome By Love

And who wouldn't be

Beguiled and bedazzled

By a devotion this stong?

Spanning decades,

Relentlessly winging its way,

Until it bursts like sunlight through leafy boughs

Or stars lying deep in dark waters.

A torrent,

Rushing through a narrow canyon,

Tumbling protestations

Like so many small stones,

I am swept away by your love.

Rain on the Lake

The far shore disappears

As a mist begins to fall,

Creeping across rippled water

Like a mysterious Arthurian island.

I lift my face

To receive the soft, grey kiss,

My eyelashes wet,

As if I wept softly.

My footsteps echo quietly

Like little cat paws across the porch at night

While all the world lies safely asleep.

My hair, lying in wet tendrils,

Lifts like two dark wings

As the wind rises off the lake

And the rain begins to fall.

Magic

They only see an aging man

I see an athlete

An eager lover with a devil-may-care grin

They only see a fading flower

You see a wild, young beauty

With flashing eyes

Is it because I kissed you in the moonlight

And you tasted my tears

That magical summer so long ago?

I only know that

When I look at you

My heart remembers first-love

And I am forever young

In your eyes

Birch Trees

Shadows fall across the path

Long and dark in the golden light

In that magic moment called "days end"

I walk along the forest's edge

Listening for the lone bird's call

A flash of white

From the corner of my eye I see

A stand of birch trees

Like a herd of snow-white horses

Frozen, alert

Heads up, black feet quiet

Hoping I don't see them

Ghost horses

Waiting for me to pass

So once again

They can paw the ground, snort

And walk into the night.